Welcome to 94 River St. Listed at 0 sq/ft, this apartment has been on the market for 93 days. 1 small pet is allowed, so they can share in the sadness with you. Let’s take a tour, shall we?

Here’s the kitchen. Actually nice so I can’t be snarky. Just kidding. That light fixture sucks.

My understanding is this is the living room.

The bedroom features not 1 but 2 electrical outlets. Not unrealistic to think you could have a lamp, alarm clock AND charge your phone in here. Meet someone special at the Cherry Tree? Bring em home! You still have 1 more socket so they can charge their phone.

Also 4 plants you guys.

A bush. Show your friend from the Cherry Tree.

$6,800 to move into this place. That includes 1 parking. And possibly a bathroom. But the laundry is coin-op so your real costs are $6,800 to move in + 16 quarters each time you do laundry.