4 new high-end gyms are opening this year on RT 9 you guys. If you’re sick of BSC and their free wifi (huge question mark), give these places a look.

Barry’s Bootcamp:

No idea who Barry is but he says his workout is the best in the world. Treadmill intervals with some strength and core work mixed in.

Just looking at the photo below this is gonna be a hard no for me. This looks like a class in a small room with a bunch of treadmills facing some mirrors. Can you imagine how loud and sweaty this place is? You fall off your treadmill this class doesn’t stop. Doesn’t even slow down.

 

BTone Fitness: 

Pilates classes on Pilates Megaformer machines. Whatever those are.

Pilates is hard as shit. The photo below is of like minute 1 of the workout. Guarantee you the dude in blue will never go back again. Already has that look like oh shit I’m in trouble.

 

Life Time Athletic:

Giagantic gym with 7 fitness studios, 400 machines, spa, cafe and really nice locker rooms.

Of the 4 gyms this is most my speed. Kinda place where you can do 2 of my favorite workouts.

First is the executive workout. That’s where you go and just use the steam room then go home. Don’t even bother putting on or even taking gym clothes.

Second is the millennial workout. That’s where you actually put on gym clothes but just stretch near an outlet and charge your phone while watching funny videos.

 

YogaWorks:

Yoga classes with ballet barre, resistance bands and a Great Yoga Wall.

I’m possibly the least flexible person on earth. So why join a gym where I would totally embarrass myself every time I go? If I want to embarrass myself I’ll run a 5k or play pick-up basketball.

Can you even imagine the side-eye Management would be giving me when I say I’m going to YogaWorks? Or if I went out for pinot with my new gym friends after class? Would be insane you guys.