Mercifully I’m more than halfway through 50 Shades.  Just a terrible book.  I mean if Christian & Ana died in a helicopter crash, I would be most upset about the helicopter, Charlie Tango.  But I said I was gonna review it so here’s part deux.

So most of the middle of the book is about Christian getting Ana to sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) about their relationship.  Honestly, the author E.L. James, spends like 50 pages on this.  The NDA basically outlines all the stuff they’re gonna do.  Like yes to this and no to that.  Supposed to be a sexy negotiation.

I don’t know you guys.  I’ve been out of the game for a long time.  But a NDA?  Seems like a MAJOR red flag to me.  So does the fact that Christian has a room in his penthouse just for doing stuff.  I guess he has a bunch of issues from childhood so now he likes spanking people.  Like Ana says something wrong and his hand starts twitching for a spanking. Seems normal to me — lets get the parents together over thanksgiving!

Ana, meanwhile, is totally into this guy.  Why I don’t know.  But everything he does she’s like oh MY.  Or holy shit.  More like holy shit I can’t believe you’re going to sign a NDA to be this dude’s submissive.  I mean heLLLLLooo!  Anyone home Ana?  I don’t care if someone buys me a new Mac or some old expensive books or a new Audi — I’m not into weird stuff. Ok — maybe for the Audi things could get a little weird.  Just seems like Ana has switched her brain to the OFF position the last few chapters.  She spends a lot time listening to her “inner goddess.”  I don’t have one of those so I don’t know.

Virtually no mention of what’s going on at Grey Industries. Guess this company runs itself.