All this snow has been hitting everyone really hard. Even the people that speed down the street. Big snowbanks have forced them to slow down – enough that I could actually talk to them. They spoke on the condition of anonymity and will only be referred to by their vehicle you guys.

Ford F-150: really miss makin the turn onto Randlett and lettin it rip. My truck has a shit-ton of horsepower and Randlett lets me stretch her legs a little. Kinda bummed I can’t bomb it like I do in the summer.

Toyota Prius: I don’t make $500k a year and send my kids to Fessenden. But I sit behind them on Waltham in their luxury SUVs. When I turn on Randlett, that’s my time! To crank NPR and wonder how Martha Coakley could have possibly lost that election. I can get up to 40MPH half way down the street. The snowbanks have taken that away from me. And that’s upsetting.

Range Rover: my kid goes to Fessenden. I’m a money manager downtown. Make bank. People on Randlett should clear their street and stop acting like bitches.

Toyota Camry: Randlett is a great cut-through street. But since I’ve slowed down, I noticed it’s like happy hour all the time there. Last snowstorm they were drinking at 10am. What’s the deal? It was a Monday. Put down the craft beers and start shoveling!