Went out for drinks with New Guy last weekend and he says to me “we should start a scotch club.”  Total no-brainer.  New Guy’s only been around for a few months, but he catches on quick.  Really like where his head is at.

Management hopes things “don’t get weird.”  Not sure what that means but New Guy and I want to be clear about the rules of scotch club.

1.) First rule of scotch club is don’t show up with Zima.  (Did you think it was going to be don’t talk about scotch club?)  New Guy and I feel like if you show up with a sixer of Zima you are really missing the point.

2.) DO show up in a smoking jacket or something super manly.  Favorite old t-shirt, high school letter jacket — whatever.  I’m going to wear a Patrick Swayze tank top I have.

3.) This IS NOT a book club.  New Guy and I want to be super clear about this.  Can’t tell you the number of times I read a book and showed up and everyone there was drinking merlot not talking about the book.  I never would have read Jane Austen.  But OMG was Pride & Prejudice soooo good!

4.) Will appetizers be provided?  This isn’t some Cambridge gastro-pub — there’s not going to be any charcuterie.  No bros in tweed jackets using words like “peaty” and “smokey.”  We show up at someone’s house and drink scotch.  That’s it.

5.) Is this club just for bros?  Hell no.  It’s for men (and women) who like scotch, rare steaks and horsepower.  If your husband wears skinny jeans or mock turtles — you should report to scotch club.  You need this more than anybody.

New Guy and I will let you know when our first meeting is.  All you have to do is show up. Don’t bring Zima.  Really can’t emphasize that enough.