Babysitting on Randlett tonight. Didn’t know that was in my repertoire? Now you know.

First things first – I sit for free. I know my competition charges $15/hour but I’m not in it for the money.

I’m in it for the beer. If I’m sitting, you better have some.

There should be a game on too. Pats, Sox, B’s or C’s. Not gonna sit around watching America’s Got Talent. Show sucks.

I’m sure the kids are cute, but I don’t want to see them. Make sure they are down when I arrive.

If the kids start crying, I call you. You come home. Kids are quiet, I sit all night. Comprende?

If your situation involves diapers – just stop reading. Never gonna happen.

I book in advance. I’m not some Newton North senior that can come over with 2 hours notice. Need to see what games are on and scope your wifi situation first.

Gotta wrap this up gang. Beer is getting low and Pats are about to commit their 4th turnover of the 1st half.